The Autumn Summary of WWDC:
- If you throw your iPhone at someone who you've blocked in your contacts list, it'll explode on impact.
- AirPods can be used as snorkels.
- Patched out the heat escaping from the Kiln where the devices make the Liquid Glass
- Siri will now interrupt unprompted into conversations with one-liners.
- Finder has been replaced with Files, Fuck You Steve Jobs.
- Every Apple Computer now has an Apple inside of it, it's not a bit from the IT Crowd anymore. It Will Rot if you keep it in there.
- Vision Pro will now dox your location to the internet if you wear it outside, however you will be able to airstrike people remotely too for balancing purposes.
- Intel Macs are gonna be supported for another 8 years, however if you have an Nvidia GPU within 30 feet then an Apple employee will pay you a visit with a crowbar.
Two Hollywood Phonies
@autumn@cafe.autumn.town
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